Received: from ses_gatormail.ses.com (ses_gatormail.ARPA) by ses.com (4.1/3.1.012693-SES - Scientific and Engineering Software); id AA05862 for amy; Thu, 10 Feb 94 11:04:52 CST Message-Id: <9402101704.AA05862@ses.com> Date: 10 Feb 1994 12:06:43 U From: "John Burton" Subject: FWD>forwarded message, and To: "LOCAL STAFF mail group" Status: R Mail*Link(r) SMTP FWD>forwarded message, and funn A friend just sent this in to Kim & I. Don't read near mealtimes. -------------------------------------- ------- Start of forwarded message ------- >I am absolutely not making this incident up; >in fact, I have it all on videotape. > >The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent >a reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale >that washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting >rid of the carcass was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division, >apparently on the theory that highways and whales are >very similar in the sense of being large objects. > >So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan -- >remember, I am not making this up -- >of blowing up the whale with dynamite. >The thinking here was that the whale would be blown into small pieces, >which would be eaten by sea gulls, and that would be that. >A textbook whale removal. > >So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton >of dynamite next to the whale and set it off. I am probably >not guilty of understatement when I say that what follows >(on the videotape) is the most wonderful event in the history >of the universe. First you see the whale carcass disappear in a >huge blast of smoke and flame. >Then you hear the happy spectators shouting "Yay" and "Whee." >Then, suddenly, the crowd's tone changes. You hear a new sound like "splud." >You hear a woman's voice shouting "Here come pieces of... MY GOD...." >Something smears the camera lens. > >Later, the reporter explains: "The humor of the entire situation >suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of >whale blubber fell everywhere." One piece caved in the roof of >a car parked more than a quarter of a mile away. Remaining on >the beach were several rotting whale sectors the size of condominium units. > >There was no sign of the sea gulls. > >=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)= > .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. > > > > I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. > Not screaming in terror like his passengers. > >Jim Harkins > > >L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L >================================================================= > >Virtual reality will give rise, for example, to Virtual Stooge, >where you can call up any episode of The Three Stooges and become >the Fourth Stooge - actually experiencing the sensation of being >whacked on the head with a plank by Curly. (This will be a hit >primarily with men)." > > - Diane English's prediction for the year 2053. English is one of > the creators of the sitcom Murphy Brown ------- End of forwarded message ------- Received: from ses_gatormail.ses.com (ses_gatormail.ARPA) by ses.com (4.1/3.1.012693-SES - Scientific and Engineering Software); id AA06087 for amy; Thu, 10 Feb 94 13:03:37 CST Message-Id: <9402101903.AA06087@ses.com> Date: 10 Feb 1994 14:07:05 U From: "Michael Turner" Subject: Re: FWD>forwarded message, a To: "LOCAL STAFF mail group" Status: R Reply to: RE>FWD>forwarded message, and In case any of you care, the reason that the Oregon highway dept was given the responsibility of removing the whale is that many years ago one of the famous governors of Oregon wanted to make sure that the beaches were kept public - i.e. that private ownership could not keep people off stretches of beach the way it is in most states (Oregon preceded California in this). The only way he could figure out to do it was to designate the beaches as public highways. (It made sense at the time.) That's why the highway department is reponsible for cleaning them up - including removing dead whales which wash ashore fairly often. (None the less, blowing the whale up was pretty stupid.) -------------------------------------- Date: 2/10/94 12:09 PM To: Michael Turner From: John Burton Received: by ses_gatormail.ses.com with SMTP;10 Feb 1994 12:09:45 U Received: from ses_gatormail.ses.com (ses_gatormail.ARPA) by ses.com (4.1/3.1.012693-SES - Scientific and Engineering Software); id AA05862 for robin_arrieta@ses_gatormail; Thu, 10 Feb 94 11:04:52 CST Message-Id: <9402101704.AA05862@ses.com> Date: 10 Feb 1994 12:06:43 U From: "John Burton" Subject: FWD>forwarded message, and To: "LOCAL STAFF mail group" Mail*Link(r) SMTP FWD>forwarded message, and funn A friend just sent this in to Kim & I. Don't read near mealtimes. -------------------------------------- ------- Start of forwarded message ------- >I am absolutely not making this incident up; >in fact, I have it all on videotape. > >The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent >a reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale >that washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting >rid of the carcass was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division, >apparently on the theory that highways and whales are >very similar in the sense of being large objects. > >So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan -- >remember, I am not making this up -- >of blowing up the whale with dynamite. >The thinking here was that the whale would be blown into small pieces, >which would be eaten by sea gulls, and that would be that. >A textbook whale removal. > >So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton >of dynamite next to the whale and set it off. I am probably >not guilty of understatement when I say that what follows >(on the videotape) is the most wonderful event in the history >of the universe. First you see the whale carcass disappear in a >huge blast of smoke and flame. >Then you hear the happy spectators shouting "Yay" and "Whee." >Then, suddenly, the crowd's tone changes. You hear a new sound like "splud." >You hear a woman's voice shouting "Here come pieces of... MY GOD...." >Something smears the camera lens. > >Later, the reporter explains: "The humor of the entire situation >suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of >whale blubber fell everywhere." One piece caved in the roof of >a car parked more than a quarter of a mile away. Remaining on >the beach were several rotting whale sectors the size of condominium units. > >There was no sign of the sea gulls. > >=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)=(oo)= > .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. > > > > I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. > Not screaming in terror like his passengers. > >Jim Harkins > > >L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L >================================================================= > >Virtual reality will give rise, for example, to Virtual Stooge, >where you can call up any episode of The Three Stooges and become >the Fourth Stooge - actually experiencing the sensation of being >whacked on the head with a plank by Curly. (This will be a hit >primarily with men)." > > - Diane English's prediction for the year 2053. English is one of > the creators of the sitcom Murphy Brown ------- End of forwarded message -------