>>Top 15 Complaints of Modern Day Vampires
>>
>>15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
>>14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
>>13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
>>12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
>>11. Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck
>>    yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!"
>>10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find
>>    clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian Soil for bottom of coffin.
>>9. After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
>>8. No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
>>7. With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior
>>   highs are suddenly off-limits.
>>6. No warm blood for miles around DC.
>>5. Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
>>4. No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
>>3. Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized
>>   "hardbodies."
>>2. Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
>>
>>and the Number one Complaint of Modern Day Vampires...
>>
>>1. Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.