From: johnb@ses.com (John Burton) Subject: Vacation Training John and Kim will be out the office from June 30-July 16 in order that they can participate in a Vacation Training conference. This is an intensive, hands-on seminar which will require them to fly to exotic islands, charter a private yacht with friends, sail across azure seas, anchor in remote harbors, snorkel pristine coral reefs, take long naps, sample island rums, bargain with native T-shirt vendors, and participate in deep relaxation therapy. They have been instructed that under no circumstances will socks,long pants, shoes with toes, dresses, heels, or hose be permitted at the conference, and that they will each be required to bring home at least one flowered shirt, one straw hat, and one small cloth bag with the name of the charter company or island of destination. The following special interest sessions are also scheduled. Completion of at least 4 of the 5 is required to receive a Certificate of Tropical Island Vacationing Competency: Sunscreen Butter-Up - Individual and team competitions. Bonus points are awarded for leaving a portion of your teammate's body exposed so that your name or a racial slur will be sunburned on them for the week. Midnight Anchor Drag - On the stormiest night of the week your upwind neighbor's boat drags down on you, unsetting your anchor and allowing you to be blown out to sea. The competition is to see how long it takes the entire crew to assemble on deck in the rain wearing PFDs and pajamas, and which boat gets back into the anchorage first without damaging the coral. Bonus points for proper use of certain sailor's expressions during the dragging and resetting activities, and for selecting a new spot in the anchorage where another boat can blow down on you again for a second try. Bug Swat - Participants are locked inside a screened-in boat cabin with an assortment of mosquitoes, biting flies, wasps, and noseeums. They are issued a small can of OFF! and a plastic fly swatter with a broken handle. In this timed event, participants are graded on the number and size of bugs that they swat, with bonus points being awarded for where the dead bugs land, and deductions against their score for the number of bites that they receive during the Swat. There is a difficulty factor for noseeums and certain particularly dangerous wasps. Later in the week a Freestyle Swat will be held with form points awarded to those participants who can swat accurately while reading, cooking, or napping, without indicating any particular inconvenience or annoyance, or any interruption in their chosen activity. Emergency Hatch Close During Nighttime Thunderstorm - Just after you are sleeping soundly, a simulated downpour awakens you and soaks your bunk. The object is to get the hatch closed without dislodging the windscoop or waking your bunkmate (who will awaken later and, after noticing that the bunk is damp, suggest that you leave a little more island rum in the bottle after this...). Fish Racing - Participants are encouraged to swim several hundred yards from their dinghies or sailboats, then organizers release a racing fish into the area. Participants race the fish back to their dinghy. Organizers choose from among several types of pelagic fish, according to availability and particular fears of the participants, with Mako, Tiger, and Great White being favorites for advanced racers. Later in the week a jellyfish obstacle course is included, to improve flexibility. There is pari-mutuel gambling offered in conjunction with this event, as well as sponsorship advertising space on the fish. Return-Path: Received: from amdext.amd.com by ses.com (4.1/SMI-4.1) id AA29397; Thu, 21 Sep 95 08:14:54 CDT Received: from amdint.amd.com by amdext.amd.com with SMTP id AA05715 (5.67a/IDA-1.5+AMD for ); Thu, 21 Sep 1995 06:19:47 -0700 Received: from cayman.amd.com by amdint.amd.com with SMTP id AA04627 (5.67a/IDA-1.5+AMD for ); Thu, 21 Sep 1995 06:19:46 -0700 Received: by cayman.amd.com (4.1/AMDSN-1.20) id AA19966; Thu, 21 Sep 95 08:19:44 CDT From: John.Lasby@amd.com (John Lasby) Message-Id: <9509211319.AA19966@cayman.amd.com> Subject: good quote To: clarke@ses.com Date: Thu, 21 Sep 1995 08:19:44 -0500 (CDT) X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL23] Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Length: 225 Status: R When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done. -- Daniel B. Luten