> "Top Ten Ways President Clinton's Injury Has Changed His Life," 
> from the March 17 Late Show with David Letterman.
> Copyrighted by Worldwide Pants, Inc.
> 
> 10. Now sexually harassing nurses instead of secretaries. 
> 9. Has to take his daily gallon of gravy intravenously.
> 8. Visiting dignitaries now asked to lend a hand during President's 
> sponge bath.
> 7. Has to remember to lock wheels on wheelchair before getting a lap
> dance. 
> 6. While doped up on painkillers, called Peter Jennings a "fruity
> Canadian bastard."
> 5. Had to postpone his three-day "summit" with the Spice Girls. 
> 4. Gets big laughs by calling his leg "as useless as Al Gore."
> 3. After accepting large donations from Indonesian businessmen, asks 
> them to sign his cast.
> 2. New pickup line: "How'd you like a ride on Wheelchair One?" 
> 1. Two words: medical marijuana.