Subject: Humor - Texonics (i.e., Texican)


Texonics: Texas' answer to Ebonics. Currently the language is
          broadcast in many forms, the most notable being Big Tex, a large
          Texan who broadcasts solely at the State Fair of Texas in
          October of each year. His grass roots efforts over the last
          forty years have led to a full program being considered by the
          Texas school system. Here is a sample curriculum:

    ahz - the things you see with
    aig - which came first? The chicken or the aig?
    arn - an electrical instrument used to remove wrinkles from clothes
    bawl - what water does at 212 degrees
    bidness - a commercial enterprise
    bobbycue - a delectable southern meat drenched in a fiery sauce
    bobware - a product which ended open ranges
    co-cola - any form/brand of soft drink/pop
    clinics - a tissue
    crine - weeping
    dawfins - a pro football team in Miami coached by Jimmy Johnson
    daints - an event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other
             and move rhythmically to music
    dayum - an expletive; in other states it's a four letter word
    doc - a condition caused by the absence of light
    ever - each, as in "she bin crine ever day since JJ run off"
    far - combustion
    git - to acquire
    goff - a game played with clubs and a little white ball
    hep - a cry for assistance as in " Hep! There's a far!"
    hoss - a large, hoofed, herbivorous animal
    lectricity - energy for arns, tv's an other thangs
    liberry - a building with thousands of books
    nekkid - to be unclothed
    ole well - a source of petroleum
    own - opposite of awf (see lectricity)
    paypuh - what you write on
    shevuhlay - a General Motors car
    spearmint - something scientists do
    stow - place where things are sold
    tar - a round inflatable object that you might need a tar-arn to fix
          if it goes flat
    uhmurkin - someone who lives in the United States of Uhmurka
    zackly - precisely