From John.Lasby@amd.com Tue Apr 16 13:39:03 1996 Date: Tue, 16 Apr 1996 12:45:17 -0500 (CDT) From: John Lasby To: clarke@ses.com Subject: Texas Humor > Subject: Texas-isms > > > HOMESPUN SAYINGS FROM THE LONE STAR STATE > Excerpted from -Texas Monthly- > > He's all hat and no cattle. > > If that ain't a fact, God's a possum. > > So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. > > He's so busy you'd think he was twins. > > He'll squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams. > > So dry the trees are bribing the dogs. > > Cold as a cast-iron commode. > > She's two sandwiches short of a picnic. > > So ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water. > > Confused as a goat on AstroTurf. > > Handy as hip pockets on a hog. > > So ugly his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she doesn't > have to kiss him goodbye. > > Looks like he sorts bobcats for a living. > > So buck-toothed she could eat corn through a picket fence. > > If brains were leather, he couldn't saddle a flea. >