From: John.Lasby@amd.com (John Lasby)
Message-Id: <9504071849.AA17773@cayman.amd.com>
Subject: Funny story (fwd)
To: clarke@ses.com
Date: Fri, 7 Apr 1995 13:49:21 -0500 (CDT)
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Status: R


  We have a connection.  How's the little one?  Here's a pretty
  funny story I got yesterday.


> 
> I told a friend of mine that I am moving north, so he e-mail this Joke:
> 
> 
>                         A SOUTHERNER MOVES UP NORTH
> 
> 
> JAN. 10
> 5:00 p.m.  It's starting to snow.  The first of the season, and the first
> one we've seen in years.  The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat
> by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the
> trees and covering the ground.  It was beautiful!
> 
> JAN. 11
> We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape.
> What a fantastic night!  Every tree and shrub was covered with a beautiful
> white mantle.  I shoveled snow for the first time and loved it.  I did both
> our driveway and our sidewalk.  Later, a city snowplow came along and
> accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street.
> The driver smiled and waved.  I waved back and shoveled again.
> 
> JAN. 12
> It snowed an additional 5" last night and the temperature has dropped to
> about 11 degrees.  Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the
> weight of the snow.  I shoveled our driveway again.  Shortly afterward, the
> snowplow came by and did his trick again.  Much of the snow is now
> brownish-gray.
> 
> JAN. 13
> Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice
> when the temperature dropped again.  Bought snow tires for both cars.  Fell
> of my ass in the driveway.  $145 to the chiropractor, but nothing was
> broken.  More snow and ice expected.
> 
> JAN. 14
> Still cold.  Sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get to work.
> Slid into a guardrail and did a considerable amount of damage to the right
> quarterpanel.  Had another 8" of the white shit last night.  Both vehicles
> covered in salt and crud.  More shoveling in store for me.  That goddamn
> snowplow came by twice today.
> 
> JAN. 15
> 2 degrees outside.  More f#@#$@ snow.  Not a tree or shrub on our property
> that hasn't been damaged.  Power was off most of the night.  Tried to keep
> from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped
> over, nearly burning the house down.  I managed to put the flames out but
> suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and
> eyebrows.  Car slid on the ice on the way to the emergency room and was
> totaled.
> 
> JAN. 16
> Goddamn white shit keeps coming down.  Have to put all the clothes on we
> own just to get to the mailbox.  If I ever catch that SOB who drives the
> snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart.  I think he hides
> around the corner and waits to plow shut our driveway again!  Power still
> off.  Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.
> 
> JAN. 17
> Six goddamn more $#@%^' inches of snow and $#@%^ sleet and ice and god
> knows what other kind of white shit fell last night. I wounded the SOB
> snowplower with an ice axe, but he got away.  Wife left me.  Car won't
> start.  I think I'm going snowblind.  I can't move my toes.  Haven't seen
> the sun in weeks.  More snow predicted. Wind chill is -22 $%#^@ degrees.
> 
>                 I'm moving back to Louisiana
> 
> 
>                            ..       |    \ |
>                          \_____'    :-o  _\;__,_,_,_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ############################################
> # Mohamad A. Hindawi, Ph.D.                #
> # Tulane University                        #
> # Department of Chemical Engineering       #
> # New Orleans, LA 70118                    #
> # Phone/Fax (504)-862-8928                 #
> # e-Mail hindawi@che.che.tulane.edu        #
> ############################################
> 
> 
> 
>