Subject: Humor - RANDOM THOUGHTS 

> Subject: RANDOM THOUGHTS 
> 
>ON POETIC LOVE 
> When an eel bites your leg and the pain makes you beg, 
> That's a moray 
> -- The Fusco Brothers 
> 
> ON MARTIAL ARTS AND METAPHYSICS 
> Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've 
> been kicked in the head like this before. 
> 
> ON HUMILITY 
> To err is human, to moo bovine. 
> 
> ON DEEP THOUGHTS 
> A day without sunshine is like night. 
> 
> ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS 
> A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a co-ordinate transform. 
> 
> ON YOUTH 
> Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not 
> true. I have the heart of a young boy. In a jar. On my desk. 
> -- Steven King 
> 
> ON PROBLEM SOLVING 
> When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to 
> resemble a nail. 
> -- Abraham Maslow 
> 
> ON MATERIALISM 
> He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead. 
> 
> ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES 
> Neutrinos have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic. 
> 
> ON INFINITY 
> If you had everything, where would you keep it? 
> -- Steven Wright 
> 
> ON ECONOMICS 
> The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. 
> 
> ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING 
> I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because 
> someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at 
> the top. 
> -- English Professor, Ohio University 
> 
> ON REVISIONIST HISTORY 
> What was sliced bread the greatest thing since? 
> 
> ON DATING 
> When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the 
> occasional division by zero. 
> 
> ON MATERIAL SCIENCE 
> Character density: The number of very weird people in the 
> office. 
> 
> ON EXTINCTION 
> Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 
> 
> ON LITERATURE 
> This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be 
> thrown with great force. 
> -- Dorothy Parker 
> 
> ON EXPLANATION OF THE END 
> ... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire 
> was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful 
> termination of their C programs. 
> -- Robert Firth 
> 
> ON PROPHECY 
> The meek shall inherit the earth--they are too weak to refuse. 
> 
> ON EXCUSES 
> I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. 
> -- Joe Walsh 
> 
> ON NUMBERS 
> Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for very large 
> values of 2. 
> 
> ON WORLD POLITICS 
> Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find 
> a rock. 
> 
> AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT 
> There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and 
> UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. 
>