Subject: Humor - Points to Ponder > > Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm > > Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding > > Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines > > Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese > > I'm happily married - but my wife isn't > > I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week > > I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met > > I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol > > I intend to live forever - so far, so good > > I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy > > I thought about being born again, but my mother refused. > > I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father, instead of > screaming in terror like his passengers > > If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? > > If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! > > It wasn't actually a divorce - I was traded > > Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! > > Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States > > Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of > > Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have > > Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. > > The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.