From zink@ses.com Thu May 14 10:50:48 1998 Date: Thu, 14 May 1998 10:41:31 -0500 (CDT) From: Ken Zink To: Allen Moody , Angela Zink , Bruce Wellborn , Catherine Rearick , Chuck Williams , Dallas Webster , David Quinn , Doug Cooper , Jean Ott , Jeff Zink , Karen Sem <76061.3567@COMPUSERVE.COM>, Lori Glaze , Mary Quinn , Milton Zapolski , Richard Birke , Sandra Zink , Sissy Talbot , Steve Ott , Szifra Birke , Terry Glaze Cc: SES Humor -- Allan Clarke , Joe Heiser , John Burton , Nina Lauderdale , Rick Alan , Yevette Thornton , Ken Zink Subject: Humor - Perspectives 1.) I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. 2.) I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. 3.) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling ?!" 4.) I love deadlines. I especially like the whoosing sounds they make as they go flying by. 5.) Am I getting smart with you ?....How would you know ? 6.) I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the gusto to bite people themselves. (HA HA HA) 7.) I'm not just the gardner, I'm a plant manager. 8.) My reality check bounced. 9.) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button. 10.) You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. 11.) I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. 12.) There are two rules for the ultimate success in life. #1. Never tell everything you know. 13.) I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. 14.) Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. 15.) Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. 16.) Someday you will look back on this and plow into a parked car.