>     WOMEN/WIVES
>     
>     I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>     
>     It's not true that married men live longer than single men.  It only
>     seems longer.
>     
>     Losing a wife can be hard.  In my case, it was damned near impossible. 
>     
>     A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house,
>     a big car, the love of a beautiful woman ... then ... pow! ... it was all 
>     gone!"  "What happened?" asked the friend.  "Ahhh ... my wife found 
>     out ..." 
>     
>     Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
>     Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light
>     on!
>     
>     How many men does it take to open a beer?  NONE.  It should be opened by
>     the time she brings it to the couch.
>     
>     A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your
>     things! I just won the California lottery!"  Martha responds excitedly, 
>     "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?!"  The man responds, "I don't
>      care  ... just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
>     
>     Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
>      bald and still think they are beautiful.
>     
>     I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months -- I don't like to interrupt
>      her.
>
>     
>     A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle. 
>     
>     If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you
>     go to lunch or to a movie?
>     
>     A man is incomplete until he is married.  After that, he's finished. 
>