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	id AA06404; Wed, 7 Jun 95 14:06:08 CDT
Date: Wed, 7 Jun 95 14:06:05 CDT
Message-Id: <9506071906.AA06404@ses.com>
To: humor
From: tysor@ses.com (janet tysor)
Subject: Re:W E D D I N G   A N D   M A R R I A G E   H U M O R
Status: R

>X-UIDL: 802550084.000
>To: janet_tysor@ses.com, tysor@goober.austin.ibm.com
>Subject: Re:W E D D I N G   A N D   M A R R I A G E   H U M O R
>Date: Wed, 07 Jun 95 13:35:57 -0500
>From: "Art Tysor" <ajtysor@austin.ibm.com>
>
>
>
>          ---------------------------------------------------
>          W E D D I N G   A N D   M A R R I A G E   H U M O R
>          ---------------------------------------------------
>
>  Many times a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to
>  his success.  - Jim Backus
>
>  I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.  That must be
>  why my wife treats me like toxic waste.  - David Bissonette
>
>  I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.  - Noel
>  Coward, 1956
>
>  A man is incomplete until he is married.  After that, he is finished.  -
>  - Zsa Zsa Gabor
>
>  I'm an excellent housekeeper.  Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
>   - Zsa Zsa Gabor
>
>  When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
>  keep her.  - Sacha Guitry
>
>  Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.  -
>  Lisa Hoffman
>
>  She's a lovely person.  She deserves a good husband. Marry her before
>  she finds one.  - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee
>
>  We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a
>  woman.  And behind her stands his wife.  - Groucho Marx
>
>  Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.  The rest cheat in Europe.
>   - Jackie Mason
>
>  Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in,
>  and those inside desperate to get out.  - Montaigne
>
>  After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
>  can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant Joshi
>
>  By all means marry.  If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.  If you get a
>  bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.
>   - Socrates
>
>  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.  A
>  successful woman is one who can find such a man.  - Lana Turner
>
>  Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
>   - Mae West
>
>  Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and
>  suffering.
>
>  Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  Second marriage
>  is the triumph of hope over experience.
>
>  Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when
>  they try to decide which one.
>
>  Marriages are made in heaven.  But so again, are thunder and lightning.
>
>  Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.  After marriage, the
>  'Y' becomes silent.
>
>  Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry
>  someone that you cannot live without.
>
>  I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
>
>  If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
>  you say, talk in your sleep.
>
>
> 
>
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