>Copied from someone who definitely has too much time on their hands: > >Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the >strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold >M&M >duels. > >Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, >squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is >the >"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go >another round. > >I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and >the >newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the >blue >M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition >that is the modern candy and snack-food world. > >Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or >pointier, >or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a >weakness, >but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. >In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. > >When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest >of >the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack >it >neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., >Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, >"Please >use this M&M for breeding purposes." > >This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free >1/2 >pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set >aside >the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will >discover the True Champion. > >There can be only one. > > /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ > /~\ /~\ Compliments of: "LAUGH, PLEASE!" /~\ /~\ > /~~~\ /~~~\ `````````````````````````````````` /~~~\ /~~~\ > __/~~~~~\_/~~~~~\____Yet Another E-FUNNIES Mailing!____/~~~~~\_/~~~~~\__