(forwards deleted)


>The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man
>around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
>
>The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a
>glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could
>squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
>
>Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.)
>but nobody could do it.
>
>One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a
>polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to
>try the bet."
>
>After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a
>lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled
>remains of the rind to the little man.
>
>But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched
>his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
>
>As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the
>little man," what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a
>weightlifter, or what?"
>
>The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
>
> ----------------------------   --------------------------      
>
>There was a blond named Candi. She had long, blond hair, blue eyes, 
>and she was sick of all the blond jokes. So one day, she decided to get a
>makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new
>convertible.  With her new car, she went driving down a country road and 
>came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepherd over.
>
>   "That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.
>   "Well, thank you," said the herder.
>   "Tell you what... I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
>   "Okay," replied the herder.
>   "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one 
>home?"  asked the woman.
>   "Sure."
>   So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then 
>replied, "382."
>   "Wow," said the herder, "that's amazing. You're exactly right. Go ahead 
>and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
>   So the woman went and picked an animal and put it in her car.
>   The herder watched this and then said to her, "Okay, now I have a
>proposition for you."
>   "What's that?" she asked.
>   "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
>     -----------------  ------------------------        
>
>
>