From zink@ses.com Fri Aug  7 10:59:59 1998
Date: Fri, 7 Aug 1998 10:50:17 -0500 (CDT)
From: Ken Zink <zink@ses.com>
To: Allen Moody <allenm@mwt.net>, Bruce Wellborn <bfwell@juno.com>,
    Catherine Rearick <cat@riscintl.com>,
    Chuck Williams <williams@ci.manhattan.ks.us>,
    Dallas Webster <dewebster@iname.com>,
    David Quinn <dbquinn@eagle.cc.ukans.edu>,
    Doug Cooper <dcooper@synertech.highmark.com>, Jean Ott <jeott@juno.com>,
    Jeff Zink <Cowboy1268@aol.com>, Joanne <littleheart1@webtv.net>,
    John Burton <jdburton@onr.com>, Karen Sem <ksem@compuserve.com>,
    Lori Glaze <lori@denali.gsfc.nasa.gov>,
    Mark Willis <mcwilli@sandia.gov>, Mary Quinn <MVeronicaQ@aol.com>,
    Milton Zapolski <cdnews@vla.com>, Richard Birke <rbirke@willamette.edu>,
    Sandra Zink <zink@lanl.gov>, Sissy Talbot <Dorothy_Talbot@tivoli.com>,
    Steve Ott <sott@aol.com>, Szifra Birke <Szifra@aol.com>,
    Terry Glaze <lteni@erols.com>, Tricia Brown <mjbrown@ihug.co.nz>,
    Yevette <Yevette@EnterpriseIT.com>
Cc: SES Humor -- Allan Clarke <clarke@ses.com>, Ida Jeppesen <ida@ses.com>,
    James Stojanik <stojanik@ses.com>, Joe Heiser <Joe@ses.com>,
    Nina Lauderdale <nina@ses.com>, Patrick Ray <pray@ses.com>,
    Rick Alan <rick@ses.com>, Wayne Hausmann <wayne@ses.com>,
    Ken Zink <zink@ses.com>
Subject: Humor - Thoughts on being a housewife

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told
me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that
feels GOOD for 36 hours. --- Rita Rudner

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my
job.  --- Roseanne

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
  --- Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
  -- Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
  --- Roseanne

I think - therefore I'm single. --- Lizz Winstead

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.  Men invade
another country. --- Elayne Boosler

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. --- Gilda Radner

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. --- Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything
done, ask a woman. --- Margaret Thatcher

If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose
Catholicism because it at least has female saints and the Virgin Mary.
  --- Margaret Atwood

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage
and a career. --- Gloria Steinhem

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps
they should live next door and just visit now and then.
  --- Katherine Hepburn

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home
which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls
every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes
home late at night. --- Marie Corelli

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your
neck? --- Linda