From zink@ses.com Mon Sep 22 07:40:06 1997 Date: Mon, 15 Sep 1997 13:51:16 -0500 (CDT) From: Ken Zink To: humor@ses.com Cc: Allen Moody , Angela Zink , Bruce Wellborn , Cathy Rearick , Connie A Zapolski , Jean Ott , "Lori Glaze (NASA Goddard)" , Mary Quinn , "Richard Birke (Willamette Univ.)" , Sandra Zink , "Steve Ott (AOL)" , Szifra Birke , Chuck Williams Subject: Humor - Most embarassing moments The following are the first three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine. "It was Christmas Eve, and I was on my feet all day working behind the cosmetics counter. I decided I would find a place to sit for a moment. I spied a tall plastic trash can and plopped down, resting my feet on a cardboard box. I allowed my body to ease into the can. About that time a few customers came to the register to check out, but I couldn't get out of the trash can. I was stuck; I couldn't believe it. The customers came around the counter to help me - some pulled my arms while others held the can. Then my manager came to the counter, wanting to know what was going on. He said he was going to call the fire department, who blasted in with sirens and lights. My hips had created a vacuum, so they had to cut me out of the trash can with a giant pair of scissors." -Linda Evans; Winter Park, Florida "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go *right now*, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' "The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter." -Amy Richardson; Stafford,Virginia "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. "As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled,'SURPRISE!' My entire family - aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. "Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again." -Tim Cahill; Poughkeepsie, New York