Subject: (Fwd) THINGS SOUND DIRTY, BUT AREN'T

> Subject: THINGS SOUND DIRTY, BUT AREN'T
> 
>  Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:
>  10.     Have you looked through her briefs?
>   9.      He is one hard judge!
>   8.      Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
>   7.      His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
>   6.      Is it a penal offense?
>   5.      Better leave the handcuffs on.
>   4.      For $200 an hour, she better be good!
>   3.      Can you get him to drop his suit?
>   2.      The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
>      And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:
>   1.      Think you can get me off?
>   ******************************************************
>   Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't:
>   10.     I need to whip it out by 5.
>    9.      Mind if I use your laptop?
>    8.      Just stick it in my box.
>    7.      If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
>    6.      I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
>    5.      HMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid!
>    4.      My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
>    3.      It's an entry-level position.
>    2.      When do you think you'll be getting off today?
>  And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't:
>    1.    It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!
>    *******************************************************
>   Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
>   10.     Nuts...my shaft is bent
>    9.      After 18 holes I can barely walk
>    8.      You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
>    7.      Look at the size of his putter
>    6.      Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
>    5.      Mind if I join your threesome?
>    4.      Stand with your back turned and drop it
>    3.      My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
>    2.      Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
>    And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
>    1.      Hold up...I need to wash my balls first