From jdburton@onr.com Wed Sep  2 16:11:49 1998
Date: Wed, 02 Sep 1998 15:18:24 -0500
From: John Burton <jdburton@onr.com>
To: Humor <Humor@EnterpriseIT.com>, Linda Wolfe <SCOUTING@neto.com>,
    Randy Leo <rleo@cp.varco.com>, Dolly Garlo <dmgarlo@bga.com>,
    Charles Parker <charles@parkerjr.com>,
    Colleen Waring <Waring-C@tyc.state.tx.us>,
    Cynthia Darwin <cdarwin@bga.com>, Dane Ohe <djohe@usgs.gov>,
    James Beardlsey <JBeardsle@aol.com>,
    Jerry Burton <jaburton@integrityonline2.com>,
    "K. Stuart Smith" <kim.smith@Microchip.COM>,
    Kathy Nichols <knichols@dev.tivoli.com>,
    Lisa Pinigis <cec2etch@bga.com>, Melanie Thomas <mthomas7@csc.com>,
    Rich Shoemaker <rshoemak@hdrinc.com>,
    Terrell Thomas <tthomas@stichler.com>
Subject: Humor - Dead Horse

> > The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the
> > next, says that when you discover you are riding a DEAD horse, the best
> > strategy is to DISMOUNT.
> >
> > However, in MODERN business, because of the heavy investment factors to be
> > taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with DEAD
> > horses, including the following:
> >
> > 1.Buying a stronger whip.
> >
> > 2.Changing riders.
> >
> > 3.Threatening the horse with termination.
> >
> > 4.Appointing a committee to study the horse.
> >
> > 5.Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
> >
> > 6.Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
> >
> > 7.Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse.
> >
> > 8.Creating a training session to increase the rider's load share.
> >
> > 9.Re-classifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
> >
> > 10.Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
> >
> > 11.Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
> >
> > 12.Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.
> >
> > 13.Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its full
> > original cost.
> >
> > 14.Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
> >
> > 15.Do a time management study to see if the lighter riders would improve
> > productivity.
> >
> > 16.Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
> >
> > 17.Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better.
> >
> > 18.Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
> >
> > 19.Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.
> >
> > 20.Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
> >
> > 21.Apply for a government subsidy to retrain dead horses.
> >



**********************************************************************
Disclaimers apply! Send email to <Majordomo@EnterpriseIT.com> with
info humor
in the body of your email to get the disclaimer.
If you ever want to remove yourself from this mailing list, you can
send mail to <Majordomo@EnterpriseIT.com> with the following
command in the body of your email message:
unsubscribe humor
**********************************************************************