Subject: Humor - coffee

>YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH
>COFFEE WHEN:
>
>1. You answer the door before people knock.
>2. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
>3. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
>4. You sleep with your eyes open.
>5. You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
>6. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the
>timer.
>7. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you
>don't even work there.
>8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
>9. You chew onother people's fingernails.
>10. Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
>11. Chocolate is a downer.
>12. All your kids are named "Joe".
>13. Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet and Low."
>14. You don't sweat, you percolate.
>15. You go to AA meeting just for the free coffee.
>16. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
>17. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
>18. Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
>19. Instant coffee takes too long.
>20. When someone says, 'How are you?", you say, "Good to the last
>drop."
>21. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a
>coffee can.
>22. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
>23. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
>24. You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
>25. You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar".
>26. You get drunk just so you can sober up.
>27. Your Thermos is on wheels.
>28. You short out motion detectors.
>29. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
>30. You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
>31. Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced
>coffee to get you in the mood.
>32.You help your dog chase its tail.