Subject: fwd: Church Bloopers

> Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various
> church bulletins:
> 
> * Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
> 
> * Thursday night, potluck supper.  Prayer and medications to follow.
> 
> * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
> 
> * For those of you that have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
> down stairs.
> 
> * The rosebud on the alter is to announce the birth of David Allen Belzer, the
> sin of Rev. & Mrs. Julius Belzer.
> 
> * This afternoon there will be a meeting at the south and north ends of the
> church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.
> 
> * Tuesday @ 4:00 there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies giving milk
> will please come early.
> 
> * Wensday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, "Put me in my
> little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
> 
> * Thursday @ 5:00 there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.  All
> ladies wishing to be Little Mothers will meet with the Pastor in the study.
> 
> * This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay
> an egg on the alter.
> 
> * Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the
> new carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come
> foward and do so.
> 
> * The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind.  They can
> be seen in the church basement Saturday.
> 
> * A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music
> will follow.
> 
> * At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
> Come early and hear our choir practice.
>