From nancy@ses.com Wed Jul  9 11:51:12 1997
Date: Wed, 09 Jul 1997 11:02:03 -0500
From: Nancy Shindler <nancy@ses.com>
To: humor@ses.com, shindler@utxvms.cc.utexas.edu, dlj@tenet.edu,
    fire@earth.myriad.net, EJJENSEN@CONCENTRIC.NET, AggieDNA@aol.com
Subject: FW: Business Lingo

8< snip 8<


>Latest Business Lingo....     
>
>
>Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. 
>Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip
>character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for
>the fourth time this week."
>
>Link Rot - The process by which links on a web page became 
>as obsolete as the sites they're connected to  change location or die.
>
>Chip Jewelry - A euphemism for old computers destined to be 
>scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments. 
>"I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's nothing but chip
>jewelry."
>
>Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. 
>"I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
>
>Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn't need any training.  
>"The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
>
>World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW. 
>
>CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with 
>all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
>
>Dorito Syndrome - Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction 
>triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just
>spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito
>Syndrome." 
>
>Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes 
>open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings.
>"Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"
>
>404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web 
>message "404, URL Not Found," meaning that the     document you've tried
>to access can't be located.  "Don't bother asking him . . . he's 404,
>man."
>
>Dead Tree Edition - The paper version of a publication available 
>in both paper and electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the
>San Francisco Chronicle... "
>
>Egosurfing - Scanning the net, databases, print media, or 
>research papers looking for the mention of your name.
>
>Graybar Land - The place you go while you're staring at a 
>computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the
>gray bar creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what
>seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
>
>Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute. 
>
>Cobweb Site - A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated 
>for a long time. A dead web page.
>
>It's a Feature - From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." 
>Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to
>gloss over.
>
>CLM - (Career-Limiting Move) Used among microserfs 
>to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she
>is within earshot is a serious CLM.
>
>Elvis Year - The peak year of something's popularity. 
>"Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993."
>
>Alpha Geek - The most knowledgable, technically proficient 
>person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek
>around here."
>
>Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers beginning 
>just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
>are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
>were designed to solve.
>
>Tourists - People who are taking training classes just to 
>get a vacation from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in
>the class; the rest were tourists."
>
>Blowing Your Buffer - Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the 
>person you are speaking with won't let you get 
>a word in edgewise or has just said something so          astonishing
>that your train gets derailed. 
>"Damn, I just blew my buffer!"
>
>Gray Matter - Older, experienced business people hired by young         
>entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established. 
>
>Bookmark - To take note of a person for future reference 
>(a metaphor borrowed from web browsers). 
>"I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at Siggraph."
>
>Nyetscape - Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured 
>Web browser. 
>
>Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when 
>their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by
>physical spasms, goofy facial            expressions, and stopping
>speech in mid-sentence. 
>-- 
>
>
>