Bart Simpson's Scribblings on the Blackboard
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I will not sell school property
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
No one is interested in my underpants
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League
 Baseball
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
I will not strut around like I own the place
This is not a clue...or is it?
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
The First Amendment does not cover burping
I will not use abbrev.
No one wants to hear from my armpits
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
The boys room is not a water park
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
I am not certified to remove asbestos